What Parenting Style Are You?
Which Parenting Style Are You Leaning Toward?
A note to EBC Parents
As Christian parents, we all desire to raise our children in a way that honors God. But often, without even realizing it, many of us lean toward a certain parenting style — and that approach shapes the direction of our homes more than we think.
Today, I want to share four common parenting styles. Understanding where we naturally fall can help us grow into what Scripture calls us to be.
1. Neglectful Parenting
Low in love • Low in control
Sadly, this is one of the most common patterns in American homes today. This parent avoids conflict, delays discipline, and often chooses convenience over correction.
Children raised in this environment interpret the lack of boundaries as a lack of love. They feel unprotected, unseen, and unsupported.
2. Permissive Parenting
High in love • Low in control
This parent loves deeply — but struggles to say no. They fear boundaries will damage their relationship with their child, so they loosen rules and allow the child to lead.
But God designed parents to lead — not follow. Friendship with your child matters, but parenthood must come first, even when it’s uncomfortable.
3. Authoritarian Parenting
Low in love • High in control
This parent is strict, structured, and highly focused on outward behavior. The emphasis is on obedience, performance, and compliance — often without connection.
This approach may produce well-behaved children outwardly, but it does little to develop inward maturity. Our goal is not just obedient kids — but Christ-like adults, shaped from the heart.
Heart change always comes before habit change.
4. Authoritative Parenting
High in love • High in control
This is the balanced, biblical model. The authoritative parent nurtures with love while also leading with truth and structure. They discipline, but they do so gently. They set expectations, but with grace. They guide behavior while reaching the heart.
Authoritative parenting gives children a living picture of God’s nature — firm, loving, patient, and guiding.
This is the model we should pursue.
What can we do this week?
1. Identify which style you naturally lean toward.
Honesty is the starting point for growth.
2. Compare it to authoritative parenting.
Ask yourself: What would more love look like?
What would more intentional leadership look like?
3. Create a weekly plan.
Write down simple actions you can practice.
Growth happens on purpose — not by accident.
If you’d like to learn more, these thoughts come from Paul Chappell’s book, Making Home Work, which you can find here:
🔗 https://strivingtogether.com/
Let’s build homes that reflect Christ — full of love, structure, and grace.