Why Your Friendships Matter More Than You Think

We’ve all heard the saying: “You become who you hang around with.” While this principle is often preached to teenagers, it’s equally true for adults. The relationships we choose and the people we allow to influence our lives have profound consequences for our spiritual journey.

What Does the Bible Say About Choosing Friends?

In Proverbs 1:8-15, King Solomon gives his son crucial advice about relationships. He begins with a father’s loving instruction: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother.”

Solomon then addresses a critical situation every person faces – when “sinners entice thee.” Notice that Solomon isn’t talking about all sinners (since we’re all sinners), but rather those who repetitively engage in sin with no desire to change.

The Simple but Powerful Command: “Consent Thou Not”

Solomon’s advice is straightforward: just say no. The easiest time to get rid of sin is before it starts. We often think we can handle temptation or that “a little bit won’t hurt,” but Solomon warns against this thinking.

The word “entice” means to draw away gradually – not with a giant sign saying “I’m here to ruin your life,” but through small comments and seemingly innocent invitations that slowly pull you in the wrong direction.

How Sin Progresses in Relationships

Solomon shows his son how quickly things can escalate. What starts as simple enticement in verse 10 (“if sinners entice thee”) quickly progresses to invitation (“come with us”), then to participation in serious wrongdoing, and finally to full cooperation in destructive behavior.

This progression happens because sin is always a downward slope, taking you further than you want to go and further than you realize.

Are Your Friends Drawing You Toward or Away From Christ?

This is the fundamental question every believer must ask. It’s simple when we’re sitting in church, but sometimes when we get out into the world, we forget this principle in our desire to be popular or avoid being alone.

CS Lewis wrote: “Friendship makes good men better and bad men worse.” There’s always an impact from who you choose to be around and allow to influence you.

The Difference Between Friendship and Companionship

Understanding the difference between these relationship levels is crucial:

Acquaintances: People you know in passing – coworkers, people at restaurants you frequent, neighbors. These are people you need to reach with the gospel but don’t have deep relationships with.

Friends: This circle has two categories:

– Christian friends: Your relationship with them is fellowship. When you spend time together, you feel encouraged and strengthen one another.

– Non-Christian friends: Your purpose with them is evangelism. You’re building relationships to continually present them with the gospel.

 

Companions: These are the people close enough to influence your life decisions. They’re your mentors, advisors, and closest confidants. This inner circle should never include unbelievers, and you must be careful about which believers you allow here.

What Type of Friend Are You?

The principle works both ways. Not only should you evaluate who influences you, but you should also consider what kind of influence you are on others.

Do you have friends who would carry you to Jesus, like the four men who brought their paralyzed friend to Christ? More importantly, are you one of those four friends to someone else?

The Danger of Ignoring Godly Wisdom

Real-life consequences follow our friendship choices. Consider the story of a young man who went from being a Division I quarterback to receiving a 65-year prison sentence. His downfall began with choosing the wrong influences – friends who gradually led him from prescription drug addiction to trafficking drugs and organized crime.

He didn’t wake up one day deciding to ruin his life. It started with seemingly innocent choices about who to spend time with.

Biblical Wisdom on Companionship

Proverbs 13:20 states: “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

According to Psalm 14:1, a fool is someone who “has said in his heart there is no God” – not just with their lips, but someone who lives as if there is no God. Solomon warns against allowing such people to become companions because their influence leads to destruction.

Practical Guidelines for Healthy Relationships

We’re not called to isolate from the world but to reach it with the gospel. Jesus ate with sinners because “messed up people need a physician.” The key is understanding the purpose of each relationship:

– With Christian friends: Fellowship and mutual encouragement

– With non-Christian friends: Evangelism and gospel witness

– With companions: Mutual influence toward godliness

 

When a non-Christian friend starts telling you how to live your life in ways that contradict Scripture, that’s when you must maintain boundaries. You can love them and witness to them without allowing them to influence your life decisions.

Life Application

This week, take time to honestly evaluate your relationships. Create three lists based on the circles described above: acquaintances, friends (both Christian and non-Christian), and companions. Pay attention to how each person influences you and what your purpose is in each relationship.

Focus on building friendships with believers who encourage your faith while maintaining evangelistic relationships with non-believers. Most importantly, guard your inner circle of companions carefully – these should only be people who push you toward Christ.

Ask yourself these questions:

– Who are the people in my life that make me more like Jesus?

– Who are the people I’m trying to reach with the gospel?

– Am I the kind of friend who points others toward Christ?

– What changes do I need to make in my relationships to honor God?

 

Remember, you become like those you spend the most time with. Choose wisely, because your friendships matter more than you think.